Saturday, November 15, 2014

Busy Bee

Writing on my blog has been on my to-do list since forever. I just never really got a round to it. Funny, because now that I have all the time in the world to my favourite things, it sometimes feels like I don't have any time at all.

I moved back to Manila last July to take classes on web design and graphic design. Classes were 3 hours long (or short, I should say), 5 days a week. I purposely did not look for a part-time job because I wanted to use all my extra time in building my portfolio. Which I really did. And now that I'm finished with 1 class, I only have to go to school twice a week.

I've got all this time now that I've been wishing for ever since I decided I wanted to be a graphic artist. But! The more time I have, the more stuff I want to do. I'm always jumping from one thing to another, doing more than 2 things at the same time, which we all know is not effective. I want to draw figures, start the (22) classes I saved at Skillshare, do calligraphy, create clip art, design my own website, practice hand-lettering, and etc, etc, etc. And on top of that I have all my personal stuff that I want to do that I have absolutely ignored since I got here, like my diet, work-out, and my chanting.

That's just me I guess. Forever busy.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Be Kind

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."  -- Plato

I've been spending a great deal of time with friends, recently -- a lot more than usual. When I'm not out with them, I'm on the phone with them. My cousin said that I was suddenly becoming very 'clingy'. But she also thought this to be a huge improvement in my social life, and duefully congratulated me for hanging out more. Apparently for her, I don't go out enough.

I've been going through plenty of emotional ups and downs. Must be one of the reasons why I like to surround myself with people all the time. And as my friends and I sat and swapped stories over drinks one evening, I looked around the table and noticed something. I wasn't the only one going through a bumpy ride, almost everyone was. And then I think about the others who weren't around the table, and I realize. They had issues, too! And it's funny, everyone was smiling and laughing as if they didn't have a care in the world, much like what I was doing. And I thought to myself, we are a dysfunctional bunch!

It's a pretty obvious realization. It's a fact, a simple truth. Of course everyone has problems! We wouldn't be actually living if we didn't. We know it, but we're so caught up with our own emotions and worries, we forget that we're not alone. (And that the world does not revolve around us.) It's a good way of keeping things in perspective, I guess. No matter how bad you're getting it, there will always be someone who is getting it even worse. Everyone has their own struggles, everyone has battles to be won. And it kinda makes you feel better in a way. It makes you feel that it's completely normal, that you're normal, and because it is such a natural occurrence, everything's going to be ok in the end. 

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Affection for Audrey Hepburn

Watecolor on paper

"I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it."
-- Audrey Hepburn

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Letting Go

Hands up.

Some things are just beyond my control.

Whatever will happen, will happen.

Come what may.

I am surrendering everything to the world. I think I've done all that is humanly possibly under the circumstances given me. Reason is my ally today. When emotions are at play, and human relationships are on the line, the mind is the best weapon. So long as the mind is in the right state. And mine is pretty darn straight, thankfully! Mind over heart. Mind over matter. A strong will isn't bad to have either. Right now, I am neither expecting nor wanting. I hope but only for the best. I am letting go -- of all the what if's, what could be's, what shouldn't be's, and all the feelings that came with them. I let my heart soar just a little higher for a while, let my imagination run wild, and let the walls down for just a tiny bit. Now, it's time to plant my feet back on the ground.

The whole day today, I let all emotions wash all over me. They won't be ignored any longer. They came ever so slowly. Very subtle at first, and then they came crashing. Funny how I'm feeling everything at the same time, yet I am numb to the core. Confused, but clear on my purpose. Sad but grateful. Stung, but strong. Hurt, but in control. Eager to go forward, but content to swim with memories, to linger in the present.

I have complete faith in the future. Faith will be another ally, my protection against uncertainty. I will find what I am looking for, and it will find me. Whatever form it will take, I do not know. Again, I hope only for the best. And when it does find me, I hope I am ready. Ready and willing to let life and destiny run its course.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Weekly Love

I believe that gratitude is the fastest link to happiness. It makes you feel positive. contented. peaceful. And it enhances the feeling of love. Jason Mraz sings about gratitude all the time. Which is one of the many reasons I love him so much :)

On the other hand, constant wanting does nothing but produce stress. Stress doesn't necessarily have to be bad. Some forms of stress are good for you. Good or bad though, it's stress all the same.

Janine's Weekly Love project allows you to de-stress by taking notice of everyday "moments of love." Moments like these can be found in the most unlikely places, in the most mundane of things. As such, they go by unnoticed. If we slowed down though, we'd see plenty, and we'd feel a lot happier. The perfect way to handle stress. (And I know I don't handle stress very well)

Here's my list of my moments of love. I am grateful for..

..Social media. It makes communicating with friends abroad so very easy.

..Reliable internet connection at home and at the office. Can't imagine life without it.

..Long but immensely satisfying conversations with friends. It's like high school all over again.

..Friends, both new and old. Life is so much better with friends!

Weekly Love happens every Friday. Join the party over at

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Dear 16-year old Me,

10 years is a long time to grow up. And grow up I did. After a decade's worth of living my life, I believe I've learned a thing or two. About myself, about the people around me, about the world. I'm learning still. Honestly, I don't know enough. But I know enough to tell you that life is beautiful! And that you are worth it. If only I had a big sister 10 years older who would also tell me the same things I am going to tell you now. So listen up. What I am going to tell you would make life so much easier.

First. You are beautiful. You just don't know it. You don't see it. But others do. I do. You haven't fully gotten out of that awkward stage. Still the ugly duckling. But you'll soon see, that ugly ducklings turn into swans. Beautiful swans. So don't be too hard on yourself. Appreciate that your body is fully functional and healthy. Try to look your best everyday, of course. And learn to love that tiny girl in glasses in the mirror. You'll be surprised to hear what other people say about you 10 years after.

Second. Be kind to your sister. Be her friend. Do not brush away like you always do, you hot-headed little tiger, you. She looks up to you. She needs you. And you need her. I know she's a little annoying, incredibly stubborn, and just a bit self-centered at times. But hey, we all have our flaws. Besides, it's your job as big sister to guide her through life.

Third. Find your faith again. Cultivate it. Cherish it, and practice it. I cannot stress enough how important this is. Your faith will keep you stable, steady, strong. It will help you grow wisdom, and a kind heart, a heart that looks out, not only for herself, but for others, too. It will guide you through life like no one will, especially on this next one.

Fourth. You will be starting college soon. When picking out a course, do not listen to your mother! I'm just kidding. Listen to Ma and Pa, but listen also to your heart. This is where your faith comes in. Back then, I felt completely lost. I didn't know what i wanted. I had a hint, but I wasn't sure. Faith would have pulled me through. It would have given me all the advice I needed, all the wisdom necessary to determine the course that would make me happy. I've had my regrets. I hope you wouldn't have to go through the same.

Fifth. Do not be in a rush to get a boyfriend. Yes, i know. You feel left out because just about everybody has experienced being in a relationship, or is in one. But, please. Don't let that get to you. You are young and beautiful. You can have anybody you want. Believe me. Listen to you parents, too. Trust me. They know better than we do.

Sixth. In relation to the above advice, when you do get in a relationship, please. Do not lose yourself. Your pride is your best friend. Keep it, do not bury it! like I once did. Like I said, you are worth more than you know. Know when enough is enough. Be strong and value yourself. Think! Use your mind, do not rely so much on your emotions. We both know you can get extremely emotional. Think and follow your guts.

Last, do not rush. Relax. I know you want to experience all there is while "young". But what is young? You can be young forever if you so wish! And don't pressure yourself so much. You will achieve great things, I promise you that. Maybe not in 5 years, maybe not even in 10. (Though it would be fantastic if you did. No pressure) But everything has its own time. So sit back, enjoy life and its many twists and turns. You won't ever go back once you've gone past it.

26-year old Me

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Blogging Exercise

It's 6:31 in the morning here on my side of the globe. A cloudy Sunday. I set my alarm to 7:30, but alas, my body is so used to waking up early it didn't wait for the alarm anymore. I have washed, brushed, and showered, and am sitting in front of my laptop with a glass of water, on my desk full of things. I'm pretty used to working on a table full of clutter; I won't bother clearing up when I don't feel like it.

This will be my second post since taking Susannah's blogging class. Right now, I'm feeling a bit of the writer's block, really. I'm not actually sure what I'm writing about. I'm just typing words off the top of my head. Which, I believe, is a good start. I'm 2 weeks into the course, and I am enjoying it so far. I've been going ooooh and ahhhh each time I finish reading a lesson. I've been blogging on and off for almost 3 years now, yet, I've never felt like I've connected with my blog. Blogging is supposed to be a happy activity, something to look forward to do doing. It is at times. But there are also many times that it feels more of a chore, because I feel I would have to come up with something clever to say whenever I blog. I don't have many readers. I've only had 1 follower, and 3 comments ever on my blog. And that 1 follower and 3 comments mean the world to me already! I hope to gather more of course, and to be able to connect with other people as well.

It's comforting to see that there are plenty others like me out there. My classmates are also, somehow struggling with their blogs. I haven't had much time to interact with them on Facebook. I've been pretty busy lately, and frankly, I'm still catching up with this week's lessons. I'm currently taking 2 online courses -- Susannah's and another from Nicole's Classes. But it's all good, I like busy. I'm happiest when I'm taking my classes. It makes me feel like I am improving my creativity, which I certainly hope I am. :-)