Thursday, June 20, 2013
Some things are just beyond my control.
Whatever will happen, will happen.
Come what may.
I am surrendering everything to the world. I think I've done all that is humanly possibly under the circumstances given me. Reason is my ally today. When emotions are at play, and human relationships are on the line, the mind is the best weapon. So long as the mind is in the right state. And mine is pretty darn straight, thankfully! Mind over heart. Mind over matter. A strong will isn't bad to have either. Right now, I am neither expecting nor wanting. I hope but only for the best. I am letting go -- of all the what if's, what could be's, what shouldn't be's, and all the feelings that came with them. I let my heart soar just a little higher for a while, let my imagination run wild, and let the walls down for just a tiny bit. Now, it's time to plant my feet back on the ground.
The whole day today, I let all emotions wash all over me. They won't be ignored any longer. They came ever so slowly. Very subtle at first, and then they came crashing. Funny how I'm feeling everything at the same time, yet I am numb to the core. Confused, but clear on my purpose. Sad but grateful. Stung, but strong. Hurt, but in control. Eager to go forward, but content to swim with memories, to linger in the present.
I have complete faith in the future. Faith will be another ally, my protection against uncertainty. I will find what I am looking for, and it will find me. Whatever form it will take, I do not know. Again, I hope only for the best. And when it does find me, I hope I am ready. Ready and willing to let life and destiny run its course.